Who can relax with a Neo-Nazi in the White House?

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Steve Bannon rubs down TrumpToday’s phone jam focuses on Trump’s spas. Sure, things are a little slow over the holidays, but can any of us relax — especially at a Trump spa — with the prospect of neo-Nazi Steve Bannon in the White House? 

Join us today in calling Trump’s spas to demand the firing of Steve Bannon! (Sign up for future actions)

  • Trump Spa NYC: 212-299-1000 Ext 1097
  • Trump Spa Chicago: 312-588-8020

Why the spas? Why not?! Trump isn’t separating his businesses from his presidency, so neither are we.   

Be polite and respectful to the people answering the phones — we oppose all forms of harassment — but stay on the line as long as you possibly can, and have fun with it! If you can’t get through, that’s a good sign — try again! Here’s a short script to get you started:

“Hello, Trump Spa.”

“Oh, hello, how are you today?”

“I’m fine, how are you?”

“I’m not sure. I have a few questions about your spa. Can you tell me what treatments you have available?”


[after asking detailed questions about each of the treatments and treatment packages — this can go on quite some time 🙂 ]

“Given everything that’s going on, I’m not sure any of those will really relax me. What’s the most relaxing treatment you offer?”


“Hm. I’m not sure that will relax me, either. Do people really find it relaxing? Do you find it relaxing?”


“Well, you see, the problem is Donald Trump has named Steve Bannon as chief White House strategist. I don’t know if there’s any way I’ll be able to relax with a neo-Nazi directing White House strategy. Do you have any facials that will get Steve Bannon out of my face? Will your hot tubs get the country out of the hot water of an illegitimate presidency? Hey, can you exfoliate white supremacy out of the White House? Can you massage misogyny away? What about a manicure to cure mansplaining? ….”


Let us know how your calls went by sending your reportback to tieuptrumpsphones@gmail.com — and don’t worry, we may share your story, but we won’t share your name!